Dianne Feinstein’s Missteps Raise a Painful Age Question Among Senate Democrats - Older lawmakers’ foibles and infirmities are coming under new scrutiny, violating an unspoken culture of complicity and coverup. - link
The Distinct Political Paths of Barack Obama and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - In elevating the New York congresswoman and gently criticizing her ideas, Obama has opened up a new conversation in the Democratic Party. - link
Britain’s Vaccine Program Brings Joy and Chauvinism - Brexit colors a rare bright day in the country’s management of the pandemic. - link
Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya Is Overcoming Her Fears - “Every country has its own path to democracy,” the leader of democratic Belarus says. “And this is ours.” - link
The G.O.P. Can No Longer Be Relied On to Protect Democracy - The gall of Kevin McCarthy and his fellow-backers of Trump’s attempts to overturn the results of the election is only surpassed by their irresponsibility and fecklessness. - link
The article has been roundly criticized for attacking Biden for using the title “doctor” before her name.
On Saturday, the Wall Street Journal editorial page published an op-ed criticizing incoming First Lady Jill Biden’s use of the title “doctor” — and immediately drew backlash for the article’s open sexism and condescension.
The piece, “Is There a Doctor in the White House? Not if You Need an M.D.” by Joseph Epstein, an emeritus lecturer of English at Northwestern University, is ostensibly a foray into an ongoing debate over whether only medical doctors can claim the title, or whether it can also be used by PhDs or others with doctorates, such as Biden, who has a doctorate in educational leadership. (Many publications, including Vox, follow the Associated Press stylebook, which reserves “Dr.” for medical doctors.)
Epstein’s op-ed, though, went beyond this argument to specifically belittle Biden’s credentials and her field of study, beginning with addressing Biden — who is 69 — as “kiddo.” In the op-ed, he describes her decision to use the title of doctor as something that “sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.” He also dismisses her doctoral dissertation, about keeping community college students enrolled, as “unpromising,” though he does not make clear whether he has read it.
Many women in academia struggle to be addressed with the same respect given their male colleagues. And community colleges have long fought a stigma that the education they offer is inferior to their four-year counterparts.
Epstein’s op-ed played into both of those tropes — and struck a justifiable nerve.
Biden, according to Politico, has two master’s degrees and earned her doctorate in educational leadership from the University of Delaware in 2007; she was a community college professor in northern Virginia while her husband was vice president. Though she took a leave of absence during the campaign, she has said that she will continue to teach while in the White House. Her students, according to Politico, call her “Dr. B.”
But Epstein suggests that Biden does not deserve to be referred to this way, writing that “a wise man once said that no one should call himself ‘Dr.’ unless he has delivered a child. Think about it, Dr. Jill, and forthwith drop the doc.” For anyone else who has earned the title to use it is “pathetic” to Epstein’s mind, and he claims it is meaningless anyway.
Epstein goes on to argue the value of a doctorate has diminished in recent years in comparison to the olden days at Columbia University, when “a secretary sat outside the room where these [doctoral examinations] were administered, a pitcher of water and a glass on her desk. The water and glass were there for the candidates who fainted.”
Epstein, who has an honorary doctorate himself but lacks one earned by study, also digresses from his critique of Biden to complain about the proliferation of honorary degrees, which recognize noteworthy contributions to scholarship, culture, or society, but don’t imply academic achievement. This is apparently a hobbyhorse of his: According to Epstein, he once sent a “complaining email” to the president of Northwestern University after Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers received honorary doctorates.
As Danielle Keifert, an assistant professor of education at the University of North Texas, succinctly put it on Twitter, “the suggestion that honorary degrees water down the value of an earned doctorate is laughable. This dude thinks because he had one given to him the rest of us didn’t earn it.”
The suggestion that honorary degrees water down the value of an earned doctorate is laughable. This dude thinks because he had one given to him the rest of us didn’t earn it.
— Danielle Keifert (@dtothetk) December 12, 2020
Epstein’s claims elicited strong reactions from many who found his tone offensive and his logic lacking — critics, ranging from members of Biden’s team to her fellow academics, repeatedly pointed out that the piece seemed ill-informed, paternalistic, and misogynistic.
Biden’s future communications director Elizabeth Alexander called the piece “sexist and shameful” on Twitter, while Biden’s spokesperson, Michael LaRosa, wrote, “If you had any respect for women at all [the Wall Street Journal] would remove this repugnant display of chauvinism from your paper and apologize to her.”
“Dr. Biden can absolutely use her honorific. It was not bestowed upon her, she earned it,” Dr. Cathleen London tweeted. “Those of us with MD will not suffer for her using it,”
Sarah Parcak, an archeologist with a doctorate, responded with a tweet that reflected the overall response of many women doctors on Twitter, writing, “Dear Joseph Epstein, author of this garbage sexist article, Kiss my ass and go f*ck yourself.”
As Don Moynihan, a professor of public policy at Georgetown University, points out on Twitter, there’s a good reason that doctors outside of the field of medicine, and especially women, make a point of using the title “doctor.”
“This debate comes every so often on twitter,” Moynihan tweeted as part of a longer thread, “so here is the conclusion: PhDs predate MDs, and the medical profession grabbed the title of doctor to make themselves appear more credible [and] Female & POC scholars often [use “doctor”] as a way to insist people ... not overlook their real credentials.”
This debate comes every so often on twitter, so here is the conclusion:
— Don Moynihan (@donmoyn) December 12, 2020
PhDs predate MDs, and the medical profession grabbed the title of doctor to make themselves appear more credible
Female & POC scholars often as a way to insist people fo not overlook their real credentials
Epstein, early in his op-ed, described Biden’s dissertation, titled “Student Retention at the Community College Level: Meeting Students’ Needs,” as “unpromising.” That dismissive comment — and again, it’s unclear if Epstein actually read the dissertation, or engaged with it at all beyond sniping at its title — does a grave disservice to an important issue.
According to data from fall 2018, community college students make up about a third of the US undergraduate population — but from 2017 to 2018, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, the retention rate for two-year institutions, at about 62 percent, was almost 20 percent lower when compared to four-year institutions.
There is some debate on what this means — as Grace Chen points out for Community College Review, some students transfer from community colleges to four-year institutions without first completing an associate’s degree. But it’s hard to argue that bolstering retention rates for students who might otherwise never complete a degree isn’t a valuable enterprise. And this debate underscores the fact that it is a topic that requires further scholarship — making Biden’s addition to the field all the more germane.
And Biden has made community colleges a priority beyond her dissertation. She has chosen to teach at one, the Northern Virginia Community College, for what the Los Angeles Times reports is less than she might have earned at a state or private institution.
Perhaps none of this should be surprising: Epstein has previously mourned the rise of “inclusive and anti-racist learning spaces” in an August op-ed for the Wall Street Journal, in which he rhapsodizes about the “tough-guy tradition” of his undergraduate days.
And in 2015, in an essay described by New York magazine’s Jonathan Chait as “bizarre” and “rambling,” Epstein wrote that Hillary Clinton would be “not only be the nation’s first woman president but our second affirmative-action president,” after Barack Obama.
“How have we come to the point,” Epstein writes, “where we elect presidents of the United States not on their intrinsic qualities but because of the accidents of their birth: because they are black, or women, or, one day doubtless, gay, or disabled — not, in other words, for themselves but for the causes they seem to embody or represent, for their status as members of a victim group?”
In the present day, Epstein’s final suggestion is every bit as bizarre as the rest of his Saturday op-ed: “As for your Ed.D.,” he writes, “Madame First Lady, hard-earned though it may have been, please consider stowing it, at least in public, at least for now. Forget the small thrill of being Dr. Jill, and settle for the larger thrill of living for the next four years in the best public housing in the world as First Lady Jill Biden.”
It’s not clear why Epstein believes this to be an either-or proposition, but it isn’t. And regardless of what Epstein thinks on the topic, in roughly a month’s time, there will be a First Lady Dr. Jill Biden in the White House.
Zam was best known for reporting on a wave of anti-regime protests in 2018.
Iranian journalist Ruhollah Zam, whose reporting helped spur large anti-government protests, was executed by Iran on Saturday morning, according to reports by state media.
Zam, 47, was found guilty of “corruption on earth” and sentenced to death in June 2020. The sentence was upheld by Iran’s Supreme Court on Tuesday this week, shortly before his execution.
The vague charge of “corruption on earth” is often used “in cases involving espionage or attempts to overthrow Iran’s government,” Al Jazeera reported Saturday.
Zam ran the site Amad News and coordinated a Telegram channel, both of which helped spread information during a wave of anti-regime protests that shook Iran in 2017 and 2018. He was living abroad in Paris at the time, but returned to the Middle East in 2019 and was arrested in Iraq by members of Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.
It’s unclear exactly why Zam returned to the region, but Karim Sadjadpour, a senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, tweeted Saturday that Zam was “reportedly lured to Iraq (from France), kidnapped, taken back to Iran, and tortured into confession. He leaves behind a wife and two daughters.”
Iran just executed dissident social media activist and French resident Rouhollah Zam. He was reportedly lured to Iraq (from France), kidnapped, taken back to Iran, and tortured into confession. He leaves behind a wife and two daughters. https://t.co/1lTng7dnaF
— Karim Sadjadpour (@ksadjadpour) December 12, 2020
Zam’s execution has drawn international condemnation.
The international human rights group Amnesty International argued Zam’s conviction stemmed from a “grossly unfair trial” and his execution — by hanging — was rushed following the Supreme Court ruling in a “reprehensible bid to avoid an international campaign to save his life.”
“With the execution of Roohollah Zam, Iranian authorities join the company of criminal gangs and violent extremists who silence journalists by murdering them,” Committee to Protect Journalists program coordinator Sherif Mansour said in a statement Saturday. “This is a monstrous and shameful act, and one which the international community must not let pass unnoticed.”
Zam primarily drew the ire of the Iranian regime for his role in a spate of protests almost three years ago. According to the CPJ, he used Amad News and Telegram to spread “embarrassing information about Iranian officials and the timings and locations of protests.”
As Vox’s Zack Beauchamp explained in 2018 when the protests were at their height, the demonstrations were sparked by outrage over the price of basic goods — specifically, eggs — but quickly morphed into something far larger, coming to encompass a wide range of frustrations with Iran’s government.
The protests began in Iran’s second-largest city, Mashhad, but gained momentum and reach as more and more people joined in. According to Beauchamp:
These newcomers shifted the tone of the protest blaming [Iranian President Hassan Rouhani] for the poor economic performance to blaming the Iranian government and political system more broadly.
Then the protests began spreading to dozens of towns and cities across Iran. By January 2, protests had been recorded “in nearly every province” in the country, according to the Associated Press. And these protests were targeting not just the Rouhani presidency but the Islamic Republic itself — chanting, “Death to the dictator” (referring to Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei), and, “Death to the Revolutionary Guard,” referring to Iran’s security forces. They’ve also called out the government’s support for the Assad regime, questioning why Iran is spending money there when there are problems at home.
All told, tens of thousands of people across the country turned out to protest against the theocratic Iranian regime, and at least 21 people were killed by security forces.
President Donald Trump — who has consistently taken a hard line against Iran and withdrew the US from the 2015 Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, better known as the Iran nuclear deal — tweeted in support of the protests at the time.
“The great Iranian people have been repressed for many years,” he said. “They are hungry for food & for freedom. Along with human rights, the wealth of Iran is being looted. TIME FOR CHANGE!”
Iran is failing at every level despite the terrible deal made with them by the Obama Administration. The great Iranian people have been repressed for many years. They are hungry for food & for freedom. Along with human rights, the wealth of Iran is being looted. TIME FOR CHANGE!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 1, 2018
The protests eventually subsided in January 2018, but remain among the largest the country has seen since the 2009 Green Movement, which demanded democratic reforms.
At the time, Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, blamed the 2018 protests on the US, Israel, and Saudi Arabia. All three countries, as well as a handful of others, were mentioned in a filmed “apology” — very likely a coerced apology — Zam made, that was shared by Iran’s Tasnim News Agency after the journalist was arrested.
Zam fled Iran after the Green Movement protests, which were catalyzed by Iran’s June 2009 presidential election. He was granted asylum in France and lived there until his capture by Iran in 2019.
Recently, Iran has been wracked by even more protests — first over a sharp hike to fuel prices in 2019, and then following the 2020 destruction of a Ukrainian jetliner flying out of Tehran by Iranian security forces.
The country has also faced external pressures: Just last month, Iran’s top nuclear scientist, Mohsen Fakhrizadeh, was assassinated, driving regional tensions even higher. President-elect Joe Biden has indicated that he plans to reenter the 2015 nuclear deal with Iran — first negotiated by President Barack Obama while Biden was vice president — once he takes office, but Fakhrizadeh’s death has been seen by some analysts as making even a moderate rapprochement between the US and Iran more difficult to achieve.
It’s unclear what impact, if any, Zam’s execution will have on Iran’s already poor international reputation. The country is a notorious human rights abuser and executed wrestler Navid Afkari in September this year for the alleged murder of a security guard during the same 2018 protests.
“If I am executed, I want you to know that an innocent person, even though he tried and fought with all his strength to be heard, was executed,” Afkari said before his death.
The US, in the midst of its own spate of executions — some of prisoners of questionable guilt — has signaled of late that it intends to continue to apply pressure on Iran, particularly on nuclear issues. And in its statement Saturday, Amnesty International called for the global community to take action.
“The world must not stand by in silence as the Iranian authorities take their already horrific attacks on the right to life and freedom [of] expression to unprecedented levels,” the group said. “We call on the international community, including member states of the UN Human Rights Council and the EU, to take immediate action to pressure the Iranian authorities to halt their escalating use of the death penalty as a weapon of political repression.”
Trump attacked the decision on Twitter, calling it “an embarrassment.”
On Friday evening, the Supreme Court handed President Donald Trump his latest defeat in his campaign to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election, which was won five weeks ago by President-elect Joe Biden. In an unsigned order, the Court rejected for lack of standing a Texas lawsuit attempting to reverse the election results in four swing states, all of which Biden won.
“Texas,” the Court wrote, “has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.”
Since Friday, Trump has been coping with this loss by sending more than a dozen tweets or retweets complaining about the ruling, and spreading disinformation.
“It is a legal disgrace, an embarrassment to the USA!!!” Trump tweeted in the early hours of Saturday morning, citing a lie from Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick claiming that no court has judged any legal challenge to the election “on its merit.” In reality, courts have found these challenges to be meritless.
“We’ve not gotten any court to judge this (the vote) on its merit.” @DanPatrick of Texas. It is a legal disgrace, an embarrassment to the USA!!!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 12, 2020
Later the same morning, the president falsely characterized the Friday decision as “a great and disgraceful miscarriage of justice. The people of the United States were cheated, and our Country disgraced. Never even given our day in Court!”
“Justices Alito and Thomas say they would have allowed Texas to proceed with its election lawsuit.” @seanhannity This is a great and disgraceful miscarriage of justice. The people of the United States were cheated, and our Country disgraced. Never even given our day in Court!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 12, 2020
Trump also amplified baseless voter fraud allegations, incorrectly claiming, “I WON THE ELECTION IN A LANDSLIDE, but remember, I only think in terms of legal votes, not all of the fake voters and fraud that miraculously floated in from everywhere!”
Biden, of course, not only won the Electoral College by 74 votes, but won the popular vote by more than 7 million votes. And election officials — including those who have conducted several recounts — have found no evidence of any widespread fraud.
And the president attacked GOP governors in states won by Biden, calling them “RINOs” — shorthand for “Republicans in name only” — and telling supporters to vote Republican governors Brian Kemp of Georgia and Doug Ducey of Arizona out of office.
He also had harsh words for his own attorney general, angry that he followed Justice Department procedure in keeping investigations of Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, quiet until after the election.
Needless to say, Trump’s Saturday Twitter rampage is more or less entirely disconnected from reality. First and foremost, the president has had his day in court. In fact, he’s had many days in court.
Specifically, Friday’s order marks the second Supreme Court defeat for Trump this week, and according to Democratic voting-rights lawyer Marc Elias, Trump and his Republican allies are now 1-57 in post-election lawsuits, including Friday’s Supreme Court order.
A statement in Friday’s order by Justice Samuel Alito — joined by fellow conservative Justice Clarence Thomas — made it clear Trump should give up hope that the Supreme Court might decide to overturn the election’s result.
Trump, who retweeted a message thanking Alito and Thomas on Saturday, doesn’t quite appear to have figured this out yet.
“The Supreme Court had ZERO interest in the merits of the greatest voter fraud ever perpetrated on the United States of America,” Trump tweeted Saturday. “All they were interested in is ‘standing’, which makes it very difficult for the President to present a case on the merits. 75,000,000 votes!”
But in the order, Alito goes out of his way to specify that though he believes the Court lacks discretion to deny standing to the Texas lawsuit, he “would not grant other relief” beyond allowing a motion to file the complaint.
That’s likely because, as has been pointed out at great length by Republicans and Democrats alike, the Texas lawsuit — described by Pennsylvania in a court filing as “legally indefensible and ... an affront to principles of constitutional democracy” — was flat-out ridiculous.
So ridiculous, in fact, that two nonexistent “states” — “New California” and “New Nevada” — filed an amicus brief supporting the Texas lawsuit.
Two states that don't exist are trying to throw out the votes of people in four states that do. Whatever. https://t.co/B4fFlsAaMs
— Brad Heath (@bradheath) December 11, 2020
As the Washington Post’s Philip Bump puts it: “Taking Paxton’s lawsuit literally, on the other hand, is nearly impossible, given how many dubious assertions it makes. ... Experts are generally of the opinion that Texas has no basis to sue, lacks the evidence necessary to sustain its claims, relies on faulty rhetoric and analysis and won’t have its lawsuit heard by the court. Otherwise, it’s swell.”
But while the lawsuit itself is nonsensical, its defeat is important, as it further erodes the possibility that the GOP will find a way to subvert democracy and install Trump to an unelected second term.
For all its scant legal merit, however, the Texas lawsuit found major traction within the Republican Party. More than 60 percent of the House Republican Conference — 126 lawmakers, including Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy — signed onto an amicus brief in support of the Texas lawsuit, as did 17 state attorneys general.
The House Republicans just updated their SCOTUS brief to make clear that it's not actually 107 Republican House members who want the Supreme Court to overturn Trump's defeat by discarding millions of votes.
— Brad Heath (@bradheath) December 11, 2020
It's 126.
(Almost 2/3 of the GOP caucus.) https://t.co/OJVaVEPK4k pic.twitter.com/Sdghb4VO76
Republican leaders in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives — one of the states targeted in the suit — also joined in.
This sparked considerable outrage, for obvious reasons. Even though the Texas lawsuit had little chance of succeeding, it marked a staggering, unprecedented attempt by a major party to subvert democracy in service of a president who lost reelection by more than 7 million votes.
In remarks on the Senate floor Friday, Democratic Sen. Chris Murphy of Connecticut described the effort as “the most serious attempt to overthrow our democracy in the history of our of country.”
“Those who are pushing to make Donald Trump President, no matter the outcome of the election, are engaged in a treachery against their nation,” Murphy said.
“Right now, the most serious attempt to overthrow our democracy in the history of our of country is underway.
— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) December 11, 2020
Those who are pushing to make Donald Trump President, no matter the outcome of the election, are engaged in a treachery against their nation.” pic.twitter.com/FE7K91nlSD
The political calculus for many Republicans, though, is clear: Better treachery than facing a Trump-backed primary challenger in their next election.
Trump has long made a habit of tearing into Republicans he views as insufficiently loyal to him personally, and if anything, that habit has only escalated since losing reelection. He did so again Saturday, in his targeting of Kemp and Ducey — both Republican governors of swing states he lost, and whose states were targeted by Texas’s lawsuit.
“Who is a worse governor, @BrianKempGA of Georgia or @dougducey of Arizona???” Trump tweeted. “These are two RINO Republicans who fought against me and the Republican Party harder than any Democrat. They allowed states that I won easily to be stolen. Never forget, vote them out of office!”
And rather than be excommunicated by tweet, vast swaths of the Republican establishment chose to back a dangerous, undemocratic, but almost certainly doomed to fail lawsuit to overturn the will of the people rather than break with Trump.
It’s a grim statement about the status of American democracy, but it won’t save Trump’s flagging legal efforts, which for all practical purposes fizzled out long ago.
On Monday, the Electoral College will meet and formally elect Joe Biden president, 306 electoral votes to Trump’s 232. In at least one state, Michigan, electors have been offered police protection on the way to cast their votes because of concerns about protesters.
"What is the downside for humoring him for this little bit of time?"https://t.co/BdGxpqSVNe
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) December 11, 2020
After that, on January 6, Congress will meet to officially count the Electoral College votes, closing out the process. As Vox’s Andrew Prokop has explained, there’s a good chance that won’t go smoothly thanks to challenges by congressional Republicans, but “there’s no plausible way for a challenge to succeed.” Two weeks later, on January 20, Biden will be sworn into office.
Despite all this, Trump tweeted on Saturday that “WE HAVE JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!!!”
But that, too, misses the reality of the situation. The election is over. He lost, and Biden will be the next president of the United States.
Royal Pearl, Born Queen, Giant Star impress - Royal Pearl, Born Queen and Giant Star impressed when the horses were exercised here this morning.Inner sand:600m: Viva La Vida (rb) 43. Easy. Break
Under-19 World Cup | ICC announces rescheduled qualification path - Coronavirus had induced a year’s delay in the process.
Aus vs Ind warm-up match | Ben and Jack shine in drawn game; India ends with lot of positives - India manages to tick most of the boxes before going the first day-night Test against Australia on December 17.
Babar Azam ruled out of T20 series due to fractured thumb - Azam sustained the injury on his right thumb at Queenstown on Sunday during Pakistan team’s practice session.
NZ vs WI second Test | New Zealand on brink of victory in Test series against West Indies - West Indies are in danger of another heavy deafeat as they still trail New Zealand by 85 runs.
COVID-19: Allahabad HC expresses dissatisfaction over State’s efforts - We find that tracking is not being done properly, it says
Gagandeep Kang claims no compromise in clinical testing of COVID-19 vaccines - All clinical phases of testing are carried out leaving out only the intermediary steps, she said.
Tracking virus presence in sewage to help monitor pandemic: researchers - ICMR study analysed samples from 6 sites in Mumbai before and after outbreak
26/ 11 Mumbai terror attacks | U.S. court rejects bail plea of Tahawwur Rana - Key accused in Mumbai terror attack continues to pose a “significant risk of flight”, says Magistrate.
Trinamool cracks the whip on dissidents, Suvendu loyalist expelled - Kanishka Panda was expelled from Trinamool for alleged anti-party activities, a party leader said
Coronavirus: Germany to go into lockdown over Christmas - The authorities have been struggling to control a growing number of infections and deaths.
EU offer 'unacceptable' to UK as Brexit talks go on - Post-Brexit trade talks were held all night but sources say there is little sign of agreement.
Abortion laws: Polish women forced abroad for terminations - Even more Polish women are seeking abortions abroad, after the procedure has been all but banned.
Spanish police rescue 21 'exploited' migrant workers from warehouse - Three people are arrested after police find workers in a secret room hidden behind piles of clothes.
Paolo Rossi: Italian World Cup hero's home burgled during funeral - A watch and cash are among items reported stolen from the late World Cup winner's home on Saturday.
VR meetings are weird, but they beat our current reality - VR app called Arthur lets you, distant colleagues collaborate within a 3D meeting space. - link
Zodiac Killer cipher is cracked after eluding sleuths for 51 years - Northern California serial murderer sent encoded messages that went uncracked until now. - link
Oracle joins Silicon Valley’s Texas exodus - Elon Musk revealed he had moved to Texas earlier this week. - link
Copyright law is bricking your game console. Time to fix that - Op-ed: An exemption to the DMCA could make DIY console repairs possible—and legal. - link
The Christchurch shooter and YouTube’s radicalization trap - Researchers say YouTube's policies and algorithms are still too opaque. - link
Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
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Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find John sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your Missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. She's been reading '50 Shades of Grey' and the room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. Then she said, "Do whatever you want. So, here I am!"
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This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
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Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest rated hospital in the world. I make $800,000 a year, have patients and nurses who have sex with me every hour I’m at work. All the women compliment me on my 12 inch penis and I've slept with well over 5,000 women.”
Last guy chuckles, “I have you all beat. I fucked over all the Redditors who were expecting a punchline to this joke.”
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Only two, but still more than anyone expected.
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